Apparently I’m Playing “The Hunger Games Adventures” Again

I’m not sure why, but this is happening.  I haven’t exactly tried to hide my contempt for The Hunger Games Adventures.  I’m so confused.  Why is this happening?

Okay, honestly, what had happened was.  I got lost on the Hunger Games wiki and saw that a map of Panem from The Hunger Games Adventures (HGA) included District 3.  I don’t remember what article on the site included this map, but it got my brain wheels a-turning.  See, HGA only labels a district on its map if the player can actually travel to that district.  This meant that the player could go to District 3.  And if the player could go to District 3… Could I meet Beetee!?

wildblueyoshi, wildblueyoshi.com, books, catching fire, the hunger games, i love beetee, katy bug, awkward

Beetee is the main reason that Catching Fire is my favorite book in the Hunger Games trilogy. The other reasons are “It’s exciting” and “Finnick” and “Johanna.” (Why do I look like I’m trying to EAT the book, though?)

And that’s how I started playing this stupid timesuck of a facebook “game” after a nearly two year hiatus.  I say “game” because it’s really just another cleverly disguised storefront for nudging players into microtransactions.  Don’t believe me?  You poor, naive creature.  The game is obviously geared to take advantage of those with little patience and even less financial self control.

In the game, the player has a certain amount of energy.  Almost everything players do uses up a little bit of energy (the amount depends on what they’re doing).  The energy will regenerate very slowly over time.  There are also in-game items that players can make and use to regain a little energy.  Occasionally, small amounts will “drop” when the player completes a task, but that’s rare.  When you run out of energy, you can’t do much of anything until it regenerates.

Or, you can purchase an energy refill with credits instead of waiting around for it to regenerate.  How does one get credits?  The game occasionally – very occasionally – gives the player credits for certain actions.  I have 285 right now, but I’ve never purchased anything with them.  I’m pretty sure I got most of them just for starting my game.  The rest were probably promotional things from Home Depot or Taco Bell or some similarly stupid attempt at advertising.

But, if I wanted to take matters into my own hands, I could always purchase HGA credits with facebook credits.

hunger games adventures, facebook credits, stupid
Those facebook credits?  Yeeeah.  They cost real money.  Real money that could pay for real video games that are a million times better than artfully disguised, timesucking, wallet invasions.

hunger games adventures, facebook credits, stupid

God help the idiots willing to shell out hundreds of dollars for the world’s stupidest point and click adventure game.

I would be willing to put up with this mess for Beetee, though.

Beetee has become my favorite Hunger Games character – although I love Haymitch, Johanna, and Finnick almost as much – and I got excited at the prospect of meeting him.  He might ask me to do some stupid fetch quests!  Maybe I could help him with an invention, too.  This is too much.

Enter:  sad trombone.  There is no Beetee.  There is no Beetee.  THERE IS NO BEETEE.

All that pointless, dumbass clicking for nothing.

wildblueyoshi, wildblueyoshi.com, cat, speck, kitty, tortie, tortoiseshell, you are stupid

“That’s the saddest, stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”  –  Speck

And Beetee’s not the only Victor who has failed to appear.  The player goes to District 4, but there is no Finnick.  You even go to Finnick’s house and help his assistant clean the yard and pool area.  Ugh.  This is some bullshit, y’all.

Logically, I know it makes sense that you don’t meet Beetee or Finnick at this point in HGA.  When you go to Districts 3 and 4, the seventy-fourth Hunger Games is still going on.  This means that Victors are at the Capitol, mentoring their tributes, instead of doing their normal routines in the districts.

I still hope that Beetee will make an appearance, though.  What other reason is there for playing this dumb game?

No, seriously.  Please give me some justification for the fact that I’m still playing this game.

2011-01-27-Traps, traps, buttersafeHEY! THAT’S JUST MEAN!
Even if it does explain a lot…

Can you think of a nicer reason for why I’m still playing The Hunger Games Adventures?  Am I stupid for sitting through overly aggressive advertisements just to see if I’ll eventually run into my favorite characters?

Comic taken from Buttersafe. Used with permission. Click image for link to original post on buttersafe.com.

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