So, uh, looks like I’ve been gone for awhile. Derp! Part of the reason I checked out of here for nearly two months is because I haven’t done much of anything interesting. Well, not much that counts as domestic nerdery. I’ve done other things that are plenty interesting. The problem with those other things is that they greatly reduced the spare time I had for playing video games and crafting, not to mention writing about them.
But whatever. I’ll fill you in on all that later… Maybe. No promises.
This Tuesday, however, I had two rare things happen in my gaming adventures. Finally, something interesting! The first thing was in Borderlands 2, the second in Pokémon White.
In Borderlands 2, I found The Bee. It’s a legendary amplify shield (orange rarity) that deals incredible amp damage. What sets it apart is that, unlike other amp shields, its amp drain is a whopping zero. Zero! It can help a lot when fighting the insanely difficult Terramorphous. Note: Gearbox Software nerfed The Bee to some extent in a patch. It’s not quite as helpful against Terramorphous as the older version, but it’s still a helpful item.
I’ve been coveting The Bee since I saw a video, I believe by yoteslaya on youtube, a few months back about how to get it and then use it to beat Terramorphous. He got it through “farming” Hunter Hellquist – a lot of players do since Hellquist’s drop rate for The Bee is elevated by about three percent – but mine dropped from a random enemy in the mission No Hard Feelings. I immediately texted Hubbles these four words: “I GOT THE BEE.” He hasn’t played Borderlands 2 in a few months, but he was still excited for me – as any good husband would be!
After getting The Bee, I turned off the Xbox and did some chores. Do dirty clothes have the ability to reproduce? Once those infernal household responsibilities were completed, I got down to business in Pokémon White. I haven’t really felt like going to the Relic Castle to walk around for hours to do what the story demands of me, though. Thus, on this fateful Tuesday, I simply wandered around Icirrus City and fought bunches of Shelmet and Stunfisk.
Don’t act like you didn’t laugh. Stunfisk has the best Pokémon cry of all time.
Imagine my surprise when, after fighting dozens of these ignoble creatures, the nurse at the Pokémon center says that my Lillipup and Druddigon have the extremely rare Pokérus!
“Pokérus” is short for Pokémon Virus, which Bulbapedia describes as “a microscopic life-form that may attach to Pokémon.” The Bulbapedia article goes on to say that “Pokérus has a 3 in 65,536 chance of being generated on a Pokémon, either wild or bred.” Not exactly a common status effect. In fact, shiny Pokémon are more common than those with the Pokérus.
You can get the Pokérus by one of two ways: catching a wild Pokémon who is infected with it, or by defeating one. I must have defeated one, because I haven’t caught any pokeys for awhile. Who knew that I’d get the freaking Pokérus from either a Shelmet or a Stunfisk – the Pokémon whose cry sounds like a fart! It’s an odd world we live in when beneficial virtual diseases are transmitted by living helmets and farts personified.
Unlike most real life viruses, the Pokérus happens to be a good virus. The pokeys who catch it gain double Effort Values, or EV, for every Pokémon they defeat. These EVs operate in the background of the game and contribute to the victorious Pokémon’s stats (attack, defense, etc.). Simply put, earning double EVs can make for some badass pokeys.
No, not quite as badass as that. Maybe a close second.
Luckily, the Pokérus is contagious for a few days – the number of days varies randomly between individual Pokémon – and it can be passed to other pokeys in the player’s party. Alliteration, ho! Ever since my Druddigon and Lillipup caught the Pokérus, I’ve been working to pass it along to all my other pokeys. I’m about halfway done.
As I understand it, you can keep the virus alive indefinitely by putting the contagious Pokémon in your player PC before the clock in your game system hits midnight. So, I spend a little while each night battling wild Pokémon with one of my infected pokeys. Once all the others in my party have caught the Pokérus, I put them back in my PC. Rinse, lather, repeat.
I’ll keep a few contagious pokeys in the PC for, oh, forever! It’s like an HM slave, except way cooler. That way I can keep spreading the Pokérus to all the pokeys I catch in the future. Since the beneficial effects of the Pokérus never go away, even after the Pokémon is no longer contagious, I shall have one hell of a Pokémon army. This is gonna be so freaking rad.
There you have it! In my interesting day in video games, I was bestowed with two rare, fantabulous virtual gifts. I shall not squander them. Probably.
Has this sort of thing ever happened to you? I certainly hope so, because it is awesome.
Wanna replicate my interesting day? You probably won’t. Really, now, what are the odds? If you want to try anyway, you can get Borderlands 2 and Pokémon White through the links below. They’re good games, even without The Bee and the Pokérus.
*Above: affiliate links to help the Yoshi family pay their mortgage.